Word of the Day:免れる

I don't really need to work on my Vocal right now, but I am also sort of house bound for better or worse right now since I woke up sort of sick.

I won't go into details but it involves mucus and general fatigue so, those are pretty much sick symptoms, right?

I think it came about because I was really angry and stressed yesterday and I basically predicted me getting sick before it happened. Like the most negative manifestation/prophecy ever.

Unfortunately I think it might've also been some sort of karmic transfer from a Doordasher, but that is quite superstitious and I am never going to be so paranoid as to refuse to eat something. I rather be sick and full than healthy and starving ( I mean, I do know I did the whole calorie deficit thing, but...I like food. lol )

I mean I know I say outlandish things at times, but I am reasonable enough to accept alternative explanations if they make more sense, but I won't be gaslit about the things I know happened. I DID have a hacker take over my screen and do odd shit to my computer, I DID have my keyboard input odd shit. It sometimes has languages I don't speak nor am learning input, like Vietnamese and Uzbek.. Of course Turkish... I am not scared of Japanese popping up because I speak Japanese so this is just a familiar thing for me. I even have like an "angry wife" sort of relationship with it.

It is a weird "club" to be in. I also have a Korean keyboard and I try to read that, but as I said before... since I kind of align mostly with Japanese, it makes my stance in certain Asian dynamics sort of.. mm.. I feel I have to be careful. This is not any sort of karma I should even be carrying and no person would acknowledge it either, which is fine. I mean, at the end of the day I am a white/latin American woman. I acknowledge my limits completely. Also my sensibilities sort of have me error more on the self-preserving side. If had an actual husband or child, maybe it would be different, but that isn't the case.

Even when I was in Cedar Hills, you know, where all the crazies go, the chinese girl there acknowledged my alignment.

...Are you Japanese?

She said under her breath before our therapy group even started. How would she have known that? That was the first time we met, I mean, come on. Basically everyone who is a patient there is just very spiritually aware/active. A lot of people don't want to acknowledge this because, you know, life is hard enough as it is; sometimes a smaller world is easier to navigate.

I also had German before too. At first I was scared because the word was "die" but when I continued to auto-input, I realized it was actually German.

I mean, yes before I was arrested, these things scared me, but now I am just curious about them. I mean, I know too much at this point to be startled as I was before. I don't know if it is an disembodied spirit or if I am picking up brainwaves from people who I have either emotional/spiritual/karmic attachment to.

Russian feels like the final boss to me though, lol. I feel I was too ambitious trying to tackle that.

I guess also because I don't know how to not approach things in a spiritual way. Also never minding all that shit, at the end of the day I am just super socially awkward.

If I could detach in a healthy way, it probably would help me be the polyglot I dream of being, but since I sort of walk in the in-between, I don't know how to navigate it well, if I am honest. Just watch the movie Doctor Sleep. The kid from The Shining grew up fucked up as shit.

All cultures acknowledge that extreme trauma creates tears in the Ether enough to give people "abilities". It is a sad exchange, but a prevalent fact of life.