Two Grumpy Old Men Solve the Problem

Marty and Steve were two grumpy old men who lived together. They had known each other for years. Marty had been a bachelor all his life. Steve said it was because no one could stand to ever live with. Marty’s standard reply was “Well, you are, so what sort of a moron does that make you!”

The two started living together when Steve’s wife passed away five years ago. Marty always told Steve it was a wonder she put up with him for that long. So, it went on. They fought like cats and dogs all day and night, but the two were inseparable.

Marty was very religious, which may have contributed to his never marrying. Steve had no time for religion. He would tell Marty it was all a lie just to get him worked up when things were quiet.

They sat on their balcony, enjoying afternoon beers, and argued about what to have for dinner. They eventually decided on an omelette after much to-do and arguing.

“So, Marty, which came first, the chicken or the egg?” posed Steve.

“Really? You have to ask?” replied Marty, slightly offended by the question.

"I guess you think God put chickens on earth, so it must be the chicken," Steve scoffed, trying to provoke Marty.

“Of course it was,” replied Marty, taking the bait hook, line, and sinker. "God said, 'Let the waters be filled with living creatures, and let birds fly in the sky above the earth.' Let the land be the home of all creatures great and small. Those include chickens.”

"You’re saying one man sat with paper and designed every insect, fish, bird, and animal, then made two of each? Where did the chickens come from if there were no eggs?"

“I don’t know how many of each he made, you idiot, but he made them all.”

“What’s your theory, Einstein? I bet you are one of those evolutionary freaks. So, you are telling me there is a ‘chickenosaurus’ that just changed into a chicken one day. Those chickens then decided to lay eggs?”

“Maybe it was a ‘fishochicken’ or a ‘frogobvird’ that decided they had been in the water too long and needed to dry off. "They came on land, grew feathers instead of fins, and laid eggs to help society," Steve joked, poking fun at Marty.

He loved the banter that they had.

“You have had too much to drink, you crazy old bastard!”

“So, where did the first egg come from?” asked Steve.

“From the chickens that God created,” replied Marty.

“Oh, I see. God created the chickens that then laid the first eggs. "Are you telling me God said only chickens can have eggs? That's just his choice? What about all the other animals that lay eggs?" Steve said, taking his last sip of beer.

They took their argument inside. As Steve cracked the eggs into the bowl to make the omelette, he looked up at Marty and said, “I think I’ve got it now. We both agree that the chicken had to come first; otherwise, there would be no eggs, right?”

“Exactly! Took you long enough,” quipped Marty.

Steve looked down at the four eggs in the bowl. Yellow-centred yolk, surrounded by clear white. He started to beat the hell out of them with his fork.

“You know, I don’t really care which came first, although it had to be the chicken. Just think if God had made chickens with bigger arseholes. We’d only need one egg between us,” Steve said, grinning at Marty. “He didn't really plan ahead, now did he?”

“You’re an idiot. If your evolutionary theory is right, then why haven’t chickens evolved into bigger birds?”

“They have,” replied Steve, “They are called emus and ostriches. Now there is an egg!”

Till next time,

Calvin

[A/n: Absolutely no offence intended to any form of religious belief, just tongue-in-cheek humour. The story was inspired by a challenge posed by a fellow creator, George's Girl 2026, and her poem "What Came First, Chicken or Egg." ]