The Rewind

I’m on a one-way path to find you now,

More sacrifice than I would first allow.

Accepting where I walk was easy, friend,

But shedding who I was brings torments without end.

How am I lost, yet found within the same?

Other sleep in peace while I am wide awake in shame.

Writing is the outlet for the tears I never wept,

While staring at a mirror where a stranger’s face is kept.

The pressure grew so heavy, darkness knocked,

How could I ever fly with every feather plucked?

I tried a thousand times to find the root of what's wrong,

Distanced from the world where I thought I might belong.

I’m sitting at the screen, rewinding up the tape,

Therapist says to dig until I find a clean escape.

I’m searching through the scenes and watching every play,

The climax of the first one didn't go a gifted way.

The more I watch, the more I feel the strain,

How Anger and Loneliness have fed from my plate.

The more I see of what I buried deep inside my head space,

The more I realize I’m only standing here by grace.

It’s hard to keep on moving when you’re carrying the load,

Excuse my jagged language as I walk this heavy road.

It’s hard to face the shattered glass and not begin to think:

If all of this didn't stop me, then what the heck will?