You always say you were the gentle one.
Maybe you always meant to be...
But I grew up learning how to fill the spaces
where your love should've been for me.
🧸
You talk about the sacrifices.
How stepping back was for the best...
But I was just a child caught between two hearts
too angry to ever rest.
🧸
I kept dreaming you could love me
that your arms would open wide...
I kept stitching hope together
from the scraps you left inside.
🧸
I just wish you would love me.
Why don't you?
I keep changing who I am
hoping one day I'll be enough...
for you.
🧸
I'm holding on with shaking hands.
Breaking just to fit your plans.
I just wish you would love me.
Why don't you?
🧸
I reached for you on purpose
when everything in me came undone.
Shaping myself around your mood swings...
trying to become your chosen one.
🧸
I thought maybe you would see me.
Maybe something soft and kind...
But your love stayed somewhere distant...
always just beyond my mind.
🧸
I kept changing little pieces
hoping one might catch your eye.
But the more I tried to matter...
the more I learned to disappear inside.
🧸
I just wish you would love me.
Why don't you?
I keep changing who I am...
Hoping one day I'll be enough
For you.
🧸
I'm holding on with shaking hands.
Breaking just to fit your plans.
I just wish you would love me.
Why don't you?
🧸
I braced myself against your anger
even as it tore into my skin.
Held my ground with trembling hands
pretending I was whole within.
🧸
You said you'd always be there...
I wanted so much for that to be true.
I kept offering you pieces
you never really knew.
🧸
I don't need your apology...
or the words you never said.
I just keep on showing up for you
even when it leaves me feeling dead.
🧸
I stay through every quiet ache.
Through all the pain you put me through.
Not because you ever asked me...
but because I don't know how not to love you.
🧸
I just wish you would love me.
Why don't you?
Why am I never enough for the man
I keep reaching out to?
🧸
I deserve a voice. Deserve a chance.
Deserve a father who understands.
I just wish you would love me.
Why don't you?
🧸
About the Creator
Sara Wilson
I love Ugly Things.
I try and be active AND interactive.
I write... whatever I feel.
Sometimes it's happy.. sometimes it isn't. But it's real. And it's me.
Keep reading
More stories from Sara Wilson and writers in Poets and other communities.
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Comments (2)
It is painful to read about how much work goes into trying to be enough for a parent who stays distant. You captured that feeling of constantly changing yourself just to be noticed. The part about not knowing how to stop loving someone even when they hurt you is very relatable.
Damn… just damn… 😔. This hits me in my soul. The poem and the video. I’ve been on both sides of this as a son of an emotionally immature man and a father that was never shown how to be emotionally available. I had to learn in a hurry when I realized how much my daughter was hurting inside and hurting herself. I only hope that I wasn’t too late 😢.