Teenage years
Awkward Confessions
I think its time to be honest with myself, I have been single for over 5 years. I'm at the age ( 30 to be exact) where my group of friends & family members are married & have children. But here I am stuck like glue in someway when it comes to love & marriage. Within the last 3 years I have attended nearly 10 baby showers, 3 engagement dinners & 2 weddings. Financially it was draining because I had to buy so many gifts & outfits that I lost count. But looking back it dawned on me that I'm still "alone". I don't believe that marriage or kids is the perfect recipe for a woman to feel fulfilled or be happy. I don't envy the relationships of my friends but I sure do wish that I wasn't single sometimes. When my mom asked me when I was going to get married or even have kids I kind of dismissed her really out of shame & embarrassment. Once a woman hits 30 society has conditioned her that if she isn't married or expecting children then something must be wrong with her. You know once a woman hits 30 her biological clock starts "ticking" and she must have a marriage planned & her life all figured out at 30 REALLY at 30. Well I must admit something is wrong with me I'm still not over my ex boyfriend who I dated in high school which was so long ago. I'm not even going to tell you how long just know it was a long time ago. He's married with 2 children (I find that out by looking on his wife's Facebook lol) but I still find myself thinking about us & what could've been. We had a really nasty breakup followed by my family moving to a different state. This was pre social media & I didn't even have a cellphone so there was no way we could keep in touch or even apologize to each other. Since that day I have never seen him in person again I have seen him online but that's about it. He was my first REAL crush my social media passwords is his name & his age when we broke up. I didn't realize that I wasn't over him until my therapist pointed it out because she couldn't figure out why I wasn't allowing myself to be vulnerable or completely open to men. She suggested I get closure by trying to meet with him but I didn't think that would be a good idea, he has moved on with his love life & I don't think it would be fair to interrupt it because of my feelings. I have dated some great guys since then but I want to feel the butterflies I felt at 16 when it was just me & him walking home from school sharing a medium strawberry milkshake with one straw. Taylor Swifts album Fearless was literally the soundtrack of my love life we had our own personal song. We shared our deepest secrets he told me things that I will take to my grave because of my loyalty to him. It would be nice if we randomly bumped into to each other or even had dinner, wishful thinking huh? I still remember us talking about him going away to camp after sophomore year, catching up on basketball games & playing truth or dare. I've been trying so hard to manifest love into my life I would really love to have a prince charming who sweeps me off my feet. But I'm still holding on to a fairytale that we will end up together when its all said & done. I know it sounds a bit delusional & far fetched but if I had one wish that would be it.
By Mary Skies5 years ago in Confessions
The Cycle Of Inevitability
As I am coming up on the age of 21, I have been reflecting on my bad habits and trying to understand where they came from. Although I have been working on them since I turned 18, I find it hard to shake them off completely. I’ll be going through the experiences I had with my parents and analysing where my bad habits formed and what could have been done to prevent them.
By YesItsMocha5 years ago in Confessions
An Accidental Injury
I've been debating on which story I should share for this subject: should I share the time I accidentally texted my cousin a nude picture of myself? No, too short. What about the time my boyfriend and I were caught making love in a field by police officers? No, that one just doesn't have as much substance. How I fumbled my first kiss? Meh, not worth the explanation. The time that I said that thing to that guy? No, also too short--and it isn't even that embarrassing, in retrospect...
By Natasha Penn5 years ago in Confessions
Free Kegs
Somehow one of us had met a young lady from Buena Park and she invited us to a party at her girl friends house. Vince/Vinnie was driving his Subaru Van, it was the width of a golf cart and had a motorcycle engine driving it. Vince was driving with Bubba riding shotgun and their shoulders were touching. We had to take a few freeways so Vinnie had that engine winding at almost sixty miles an hour, considering the crowd inside and the size of the van that was nothing short of amazing.
By Gregory Dolan Dies5 years ago in Confessions
MY HIGHSCHOOL JOURNAL part #1
Hi. So I'm here today because I'm sick and tired of keeping everything inside of me. Nobody really wants to know me enough. So I'm going to sit quietly on my favorite couch downstairs in our family room a.k.a the BASEMENT, and talk about myself for a few minutes. This is obviously for nobody, because I wouldn't really want to share anything with anyone. And besides, nobody cares; and I totally understand. People have busy and stressful lives. I do as well. Nobody has time to "understand" me as a person. So here I go phone notebook:
By justalilpeachy 5 years ago in Confessions
Growing up in the Twilight Era
Looking back, I'm surprised that the global phenomenon of Twilight initially passed me by. I actually had not heard of Twilight until 2008, when the film was just being released on DVD. Through classmates conversations, my knowledge of the story went as far as - a bland girl fancies a moody vampire, but gets caught in a love triangle with a muscle-head werewolf. That was it. I probably may not have even watched it, if not for my mother buying me a copy at our local Blockbusters' as a gift - anyone else remember Blockbusters? Good times. So with no knowledge or expectations, I decided to give this film a try.
By Ted Ryan5 years ago in Confessions
My First "Bestseller"
The idea struck me when my eighth-grade English teacher approached a student in the hallway, a girl much more loud, outspoken, "rebellious," and popular than shy, nerdy me, asking her, "Where is the stuff??" Although I knew he was referring to classwork, the exchange sounded much like an illicit drug deal. A story idea took seed in my young, fertile imagination.
By Julia Schulz5 years ago in Confessions
Define Functional
Chapter Two: Girls Girls Girls I’m not sure if I ever said it to her out loud but in my head, I called her Jewlz. Her name was Julie and we met during a freshman summer program at Marquette University. It was a program for students with high test scores but lower than expected grade point averages. I was again amongst a group with which I should fit. We all shared the same disease, we could but we didn’t. The program was our chance to prove ourselves and show we were capable of performing at a collegiate level. It was highly structured requiring us to take one 3 credit course and spend the rest of the day in orientation classes and mandatory study hours. I don’t remember exactly how many of us there were but we all stayed in the same dormitory with men and women on different floors. I landed on that campus, 800 miles away from home, after an eventful senior year during which I created my own half-day schedule by skipping half my classes every day. To make things fair I would alternate leaving or arriving after lunch during the week. I didn’t feel that bad about it because to make up for my freshman failure I had two periods of gym every day. I had a grade point average of 1.1 entering the year and really shouldn’t have been promoted to the twelfth grade. I remember a friend who resented my flippant attitude toward school calling me, the summer before the twelfth grade, to inform me that I had failed two classes and wouldn’t be a senior in the fall. Having grown in arrogance, due to the magic doors administrators would open to allow me to dodge consequences, I confidently replied “Well see”. And as I expected, we shared most of the same classes that next year, on the days I bothered to show up for them. When the year ended, I shouldn’t have graduated but to fit the pattern that had been established in my life my English teacher mercifully decided not to fail me stating that she didn’t want to “Hold me back” because “the world needed me”. No pressure right? But despite all the lessons I didn’t learn that year JROTC had put me in a position to go to college. A counselor that worked with our cadets was a Marquette Alumni and found this program for me. JROTC had also netted me a girlfriend and by the time I was leaving for college, we were still in the throes of passion following our mutually lost virginity. Before I left for school that summer, I bought a micro recorder to use during lectures but tested it out first recording her moans during one of our love-making sessions. I and that tape would make our way to a majority white Jesuit campus, with me nervous about leaving its star, nervous about the new world I was in, nervous about meeting the standards of college life, and unknowingly one floor beneath Jewlz.
By JdotFlan5 years ago in Confessions
Love, 16
Growing up sheltered makes life hard. You miss out on opportunities to grow and make mistakes that other kids have. Especially when you grew up like me. My parents were strict Mormons and raised me as such. I wasn't allowed to watch TV, I wasn't allowed a phone, I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends outside of school or church and I went to church two times a week. Add this to my crippling social anxiety and you get a recipe for disaster and a girl with barely any friends. And definitely a girl with little to no experience with boys. This is the story of one of my first real encounters with dating, love, embarrassment, and heartbreak.
By Alyssa Zeschke5 years ago in Confessions
