bipolar

Bipolar disorder; understanding the highs, the lows and the in between.

Bipolar Disorder 2 vs. 5-4-3-2-1, Get Up!
How My Disorder Affects My Mental State For many years there has been a longing for something that’s missing from inside my soul. Like a thirst to be more than what I am realistically capable of being; longing for something unseen that I have never quite been able to discover within myself. It is like knowing exactly what you want, but also not knowing or knowing that it is always outside of grasps reach. There are some days that I open my eyes and I can feel on top of the world... But, more days than not I feel in a sense that the entire world has stopped and is running me in the complete opposite direction that I fight so hard to travel.
By Harley Marie5 years ago in Psyche
Black Sheep
I knew I was different from the day I was born. Instead of playing with dolls, I loved nature from a young age. I found joy in learning about different animals and dinosaurs, and I liked looking under rocks for weird creatures. To my family I was a pretty strange kid, and to other kids I was an alien.
By Rissa Rose 🥀5 years ago in Psyche
Why A Mood Tracking App Helped My Bipolar Disorder
I used to say that "I have" bipolar disorder. But I realized I DIDN'T HAVE bipolar disorder, it had me. Now I say that I SUFFER from bipolar disorder. And boy do I suffer. If you've read any of my past Vocal posts, you know that mental illness is a big part of my life.
By Napoleon "Bo" Perrish5 years ago in Psyche
A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: Why I came out of the mental illness closet.
Dear 30-year-old Napoleon, At 10 AM on April 3, 2006 you will try to kill yourself. Ya, you heard right...suicide. But don't worry, you'll make it. Just try not to ingest the Clorox Bleach. That stuff tastes nasty!
By Napoleon "Bo" Perrish5 years ago in Psyche
A MAN AND A TRAIN TRACK
I saw this video on Facebook of a man standing in the middle of a train track trying to commit suicide. Another man, a passer-by saw his desperation and decided to step in to save him.
By Napoleon "Bo" Perrish5 years ago in Psyche
I CRASHED MY CAR INTO A POLE...ON PURPOSE
I'm bipolar. I'll start off by saying that. This way you have a better understanding of why I did what I did. In 2009 I was at a Target store early in the morning picking up a CD (yes they existed back then) from my favorite artist...Tupac. I hadn't slept in 2 days. I was on a MANIC binge. I'm bipolar 1. This means I have more manic episodes than depressive ones. I felt invincible that day, indestructible even.
By Napoleon "Bo" Perrish5 years ago in Psyche
Lost Soul Found
At 19 years old my life ended and my journey began. With a history of Bipolar in the family my father thought it would be an excellent idea to prescribe me an SSRI to cope with the depression brought on by a surprise divorce and a cheating girlfriend. 18 pills and a fuck load of meth later I died. This would be the first of many.
By Daniel Massopust-Ortega5 years ago in Psyche
The Highs & Lows of Motherhood
Throughout the years, my mother’s lessons and advice have continued to prove necessary and invaluable. My mother taught me kindness, compassion, strength, and most importantly standing in my convictions. My mother is a person living with bipolar disorder, which means growing up we had our good days and bad, but even on the bad days, I adored her. Often, when I share this with people, they are understandably astonished. Most people don’t know the experience of being raised or even in the close company of a person with bipolar disorder. Oftentimes, people have a skewed view based on a limited understanding built on memes and internet posts regarding mental health. As a child being raised by someone with mental illness this is a fact I quickly became all too familiar with. Unfortunately for them, many people don’t realize that although my mother’s diagnosis presented some difficulties, it also provided a whole new lens through which I could view the world and those around me. My mother isn’t strong despite her illness. She is strong because of it, and that strength has influenced me in ways I can only attempt to express through words.
By Mel C5 years ago in Psyche
An Ocean Metaphor
The first metaphor I ever found helpful in coping with my brain was in an Outline piece written by Anna Borges, which you can find here. In it, Borges talks about passive suicidality, explaining her experience of struggling with wanting to live. She says that she is not always that attached to being alive, and when I read those words for the first time, I cried. I felt seen, heard, known. For a few years, I’d read through it periodically, letting the wave of relief wash over me once more. Nearing the end of 2020, however, the metaphor of treading water in the middle of the ocean ceased to be accurate enough. I was and am suffering from more than major depression. This meant that I had to tweak the metaphor to fit me a bit better. And so, I made Borges’ elegant analogy into a hot, convoluted, mess.
By K.E. Diller5 years ago in Psyche
Howling at the Zia Pueblo
Close to midnight I am speeding aimlessly through the back roads of New Mexico. Florence + The Machine blasting from my speakers as I am looking for some place to pull over for the night.
By Anna Cunningham5 years ago in Psyche
The Statistics Say
When faced with the question, "What is bipolar disorder," What exactly do you answer? It's a confusing condition for many people, especially when you are suffering from it. It was originally labeled as manic depression, but, now it is known as a mood disorder that causes major shifts in a person's mood, energy, and their ability to carry out everyday tasks. These mood episodes can last from days to weeks. The depressive episodes leaves the person with low energy and motivation and the manic episodes are the opposite, leaving the person feeling energetic, optimistic, and euphoric, this can lead them to making irrational, impulsive decisions. But, it is also important to understand that the intensity of symptoms is varying from person to person.
By Max5 years ago in Psyche
Tangentiality
It's cold out. Perfect! I was up late last night ... well until about 2.30 am. A friend was on my mind. And I am writing a story for him. A dedication piece that I hope provides support.
By Pauline Fountain5 years ago in Psyche