recovery
Your illness does not define you. It's your resolve to recover that does.
Sobriety.
So yesterday I hit 70 days sober. I am very proud and feel amazing. I feel great physically and mentally more each day I wake up. If you know you know. My anxiety and depression has eased and calmed down, somedays I feel "normal". I've struggled for years and with COVID this year my drinking became out of control. I'm not ashamed of it but not proud, and hopefully I'm able to help someone someday that has gone throught the same situation. It was to where I wouldn't even eat or drink water in the morning I would just start drinking. Some days more and heavier than others. I have gone through a crazy amount of life events in the past year which lead up to the drinking I'm talking about. Personal events that I'd rather not mention because it's too painful to remember them but I got through it.My last night of drinking though I fell on my face and fractured my nose, that was a scary wake up call. I'm still here, healthy and happy. I thank God, the universe and my willpower. I honestly don't know what would happen if I had continued and it's not something I would want to know either. My partner, family and friends have been supportive big time. I did lose a couple friends but clearly they were not friends but 'drinking buddies' and I'm totally fine with that. I don't need negative people in my life when I want nothing but positivity. The new path I'm on is super exciting and has so many new surprises and doors opening. Unexplainable feeling. It's almost as if I feel everything is perfect! I have everything I ever wanted in life and that's what's a bit scary because not many people can say that or will recieve that. I never want to be that person again now that I've escaped. I was such a sad, lost and angry person. I wanted to give up but I knew there was more to life. More happiness and freedom just waiting for me to find it. I had to be strong. I am strong. You really have to want it in order to succeed. I find for me anyway that's the only way it works. I love the fact that I inspire others, puts a smile on my face. I have people who inspire me, it's a great circle. Being sober is something I'll forever be proud of. Now I am able to focus on the good things, all the things that were there the whole time. Little things that I forgot I liked. Painting, puzzles, word searches, taking pictures, etc. Waking up knowing what I did last night is a plus too. Not hurting people with words, not hurting myself, or losing touch with family. I promise myself I will never let that happen. It's not always easy but I got this. And if this is something familiar to you then I'm cheering you on 100 percent. Don't let yourself fall.
By Jennie Fontaine5 years ago in Psyche
Giving thanks to my darkness
Darkness, I am most thankful for you this year. Why you ask? I finally have found an answer. I am thankful for you.... Not because you sucked me down deeper and into your hole that filled with thoughts of no longer wanting to wake up and face he tomorrow that will continue to come even when your at your lowest of lows, not because you laughed at the sight of my tears after losing the only parent I had left to a non curable evil.... cancer. Not because you’ve introduced yourself into the homes of my fellow neighbors during this time of deadly virus, not because I have lost so much as many of us have, my home, my steady income.... and the one thing that led me to you, my mind.
By Alannah Cruz5 years ago in Psyche
You did WHAT?. First Place in Body Art Challenge.
I hope I do this right. Unfortunately, part of my story has to do with the loss of someone, and that beautiful, brilliant someone belongs to a number of beautiful, brilliant, strong family members and friends who sting for her every day. It’s impossible to think of a way to honor her properly in the framework of a narrative centered around me, and describing such grossly indulgent and juvenile behavior.
By Autumn Faithwalker5 years ago in Psyche
BodyArt Nature's Way
I think, like a lot of people, I'm obsessed by tattoos. Having 5 currently and more to come, I can say every-time I go, I'm already thinking of the next one I want. The way a tattoo artist seems to flawlessly ink away on your skin and making it a part of you is something nothing less than pure magic. Each one having such a personal meaning of something in your life. Something that has changed you, affected you or represents you. All so unique to each individual. Such perfection! (Unless of course it's a tattoo nightmare but I think there is a show for that already. And a whole different writing challenge!Ha!)
By Leslie Scott5 years ago in Psyche
I Know How It Feels
I know how it feels to feel alone. I know how it feels to be alone. I know how you feel when you say you are completely broken. I know, I understand, I see you and I am here for you. Nothing is worse than your brain telling you that you will not be enough. But I am here to tell you that you are enough, you will make it and you will be okay. You might not be okay today, tomorrow or even in a year, but I promise you that if you just hang on, you’ll survive. And one day, you won’t just survive, but you will thrive.
By Sara Caramella5 years ago in Psyche
Waking up
It was 2015, & the downward spiral of my addictive personality had fully taken form. I was slingin haircuts at Supercuts, taking multiple breaks every hour or so to pound down a few shots of whisky to steady my hand, or after a while it was to lock myself in the bathroom & try to find a vein to tap in the low light to ease the pain. My path of self destruction started very young, around 11 or 12, after a few traumatic sequences took place, but it wasn’t in full beast mode until I was well into my 20’s. At the time, I didn’t plan on surviving through it, so there was no “plan”. I already lived a fast life, I was surprised to even make it to 25.
By Nicci Zelda5 years ago in Psyche
